Around town theres 5 beaches near by to choose from even a nudist one just the other side of the iconic Cable Beach... but me when I have a weekend off a couple of days to spare I dont muck around sticking to the nearby stuff... I GO BUSH!!
This weekend was no different, I tossed the swag into the back of the 4x4 bought some tucker stuck that in the car fridge and fueled up and headed north into the wilds of the Kimberley... aahh bliss being behind the wheel and heading off into an adventure unknown till one arrives is the stuff of life.
So Im bashin away up the pindan dirt tracks heading first this away then that then back the other and then sideways up another till finally after 600Klms I finally found myself totally lost!!!... no beach! aaaaahh soooo bein the clever fella I am I turned around and backtracked through the scrub mostly (thank heaven for 4x4s eh!!) then out of the blue I saw it!!... Deep turquoise blue ocean meeting the azure blue of the sky!!! OCEAN!! WATER!!! SWIM!! yeeeeeeha! right? WRONG!! as I was belting through the bush heading in the general direction of the blue stuff I suddenly STOMPED on the brakes!! CLIFF DUDE!!! no not the bloke Cliff a CLIFF you know BIG BLOODY DROP type cliff? Yeah that one!
So grabbing my heart from out on the bonnet I reversed like a demented chook on steroids back far enough that the front wheels had dirt under them again... and stopped took stock and got out started the wee barbie in the back and had a cuppa while my heart tried to find its equalibrium again... scarey shite that nearly going over a bloody great drop at a rate of knots!!
Anyways an hour or so later my heart found me again my body had stopped its shaking and the world was back to being all good again and so we heading off again a wee bit slower this time... I mean after all the big blue wasnt goin anywhere in a hurry and well I still had a few hours till dark came a calling so... off we went awandering looking searching for a way down to the big blue to camp the night
Suddenly theres this road!! A road... like a bit bigger than a goat track but its got tyre tracks on it so its a road! Whahooooo!!! so I picked up speed as we all know these goat track type roads MUST lead to the big blue sooner or later right? RIGHT!! Now I honestly thought me an baby (thats me 4x4) had gotten seriously bushed you know as in lost well there I am belting along the track that turned into a road that turned into Manari Road!!! Can we say Id just done a MAJOR CIRCLE??? geeeeez talk about getting to a place the long way round... if it was anyone else theyd be seriously embarressed but me I dont do embarressed I just go forth!!
So I had a fair idea where I was now... a few clicks on and there it is the turnoff I had been expecting a rough sign post saying "NO GAS" yep James Prices Point!! WHAHOOOO!!! no wukkers he smiles as he makes the turn sideways and whips around a few quick bends to find himself face to face with some dopey sheila wandering the track!! I mean its a track girl!! CARS you know? strewth tourists you'd think they dont have cars wherever they come from eh? Anyway she was kinda cute so I stopped and let her pass smiling and sayin me usual charming "Gidday" she smiled nodded her pretty noggin and walked by... I let the car cool down... I mean it was a hot day!!! and casually watched her walk or rather sashay along the path in her tiny string bikini... sighed and kept on for the lookout to check what that mongrel company Woodside petrolium was up to this week... yep still 2 offshore rigs out there and still the cruise ship parked between them along with a couple of tender vessels... damn! nope I couldnt stay there it just makes me want to puke
So I arc up and do a bit of a quick flash type turn... me heart lurched me mind spin and I gripped the wheel... whew missed the cliff!! I breathe again and head for the road that I came in on passed the little string bikini again (note must find out if the girl was still in them or if that was just the sun taking affect) and belted up the track about 5klms the way Id already come!
Finally there it was the turn off down to the beach... oooh bliss and a couple of hours to spare before dark set in!... so I quickly offload the dry tender and branches Id managed to toss on the roofrack on my way through the scrub... I try to be prepared you know!!! anyways I toss them on the old fireplace and bolt for the sea!!
Whew... so cooling and refreshing... I wander up and kick start the fire and have a good look around... mmmm no one... miles and miles and miles of beautiful white pristine beach and not another soul in sight... nuddie time!!! off when the boardshorts and hello sunshine!!! ;o)
Now I havent been nuddie swimmin or sunbakin for oooohhh bout 30 odd years so that lower part of me anatomy is kinda sorta milky white by now... the rest of me? Nice and bronzed... but who am I to argue the nitty gritty eh? nuddie it was for the duration!
Intention of course as it always is when I get a couple of days off work is to stay bushed for the entire time... like 2 days... so anyways I enjoyed the evening and had a great sleep as I always do in the bush in me swag got up in the morning at sparrow fart and had a cuppa while checking the neighbors... did I say neighbors? NOT A ONE!!... so nuddie it is! ;o)
ooh what a bottler of a day!!! Sun was up and warmin the world by 5.30am and Im in the sea by 5.45!! sunbaking by 6am and getting toasty by 8 when I decided Id better have a cookup of bacon toast and tommyattas... can I cook? YES I CAN!!! scoffed me heart out on the finest bacon and tommyattas out there then a couple of cups of coffee do the dishes and the days mine... to do what you ask
SUNBAKE!! oooh yes indeedydoody I do take advantage of every moment to get into the sun up here... every day seems to just want to hover around the 35 or up (thats 95F and up) and today was no different in fact it got to 42C where I was (yep I checked it!!) 107F!!! Can we say HOT? oooh it was hot alright... I knew that as I sat in the warm waters of the Indian Ocean watching the sea hawks and seagulls dropping from the sky taking turns to do swallow dives with double pikes into the water next to me! Flamin hot? you could fry an egg on the water it was so hot... anyways... so Im sunbakin and swimmin me hearts content really enjoyin it I was
Come bout 1pm I start thinkin mmmm its gettin a tad warmish in the sun and so get under the shade Id put up mmmm still a tad warmish... I started wondering why the ONLY part of me that was searing like a new rib eye steak on a barbie was from me hips to the middle of me thighs... look down... SCREECH!!! good god above Ive turned not whitefella not blackfella but PINKMAN!!! geeeeeeeezzzzzzz holey hanna dude that not only LOOKED painful but WAS!!
Time to go methinks... but my brain went "but the water dude its gonna be flamin hot on the track back go have another swim go on dares yer double triple dares yer" and not to be out dared by me wayward mind I head in for another swim... just to cool down mind... finally feeling like a prune I wandered out of the water at 1.30 and headed for the car refusing to hear the muttered words of me mind wheedling me to "have just one more go on" nope this time I was strong!! I was TUFF!!! and I quickly found my board shorts in the backseat where Id thrown them the day before and slid them on... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHSHITE!!! now thats gonna hurt dude laughed my mind as the material rubbed my hips bum and other parts previously untouched by the searing rays of the Aussie sun for over 30 years... nah she'll be right no wukkers! he says to allay me mind... yeah bloody right sunshine! YOUR GONNA PAY!!!
I head for home and a cold shower out in the jungle... an hour later Im standing under the COLD shower watching the steam broil up from my loins!!! oooh can we ever say OUCHIES!!
Thing is Im a tour bus driver... yep I drive for a living... the talkings easy its the driving thats gonna be HELL ON WHEELS tomorrow!!! ooh the pain...
Now Ive been thinking... its damned lucky Im alone nowadays... no wife no partner no shiela in me life... as I can just hear the screams of complete agony "DONT TOUCH ME THERE WOMAN!!!" be the first time in MY life to hear my voice scream that... so its lucky Im a single free man without a sheila to cause me bod such agony eh!
There yer go another day in the life and times, adventures and misadventures of me!!!
Smile life IS good!!!! ;o)
Shane the wayward walkabout
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